Women & Authority: Claiming Your Inner Expert with Feminist Coaching Graduates

The Struggle for Self-Authority

• 🧠 Women are often socialized to distrust their own decisions and instincts, leading to a constant seeking of external validation from friends, corporations, or media.
• ⚠️ This conditioning can result in hesitation, confusion, and avoidance of decision-making or leadership roles due to fear of making the wrong choice.
• 💡 The core issue is a disconnect from one's own innate worth and authority, often exacerbated by patriarchal structures in religion, society, and even within industries like tech.

Authority in Different Contexts

• ⛪️ In post-religious contexts, like leaving Mormonism, women may struggle with authority because they perceive it as inherently patriarchal and oppressive, leading them to reject it entirely.
• 💻 For women in tech, the myth of the male genius developer can reinforce feelings of inadequacy, leading some to question if their success is based on merit or diversity hires, further undermining their sense of authority.
• 💖 In relationships, women often look outside themselves for validation regarding relationship dynamics, questioning their own worth when faced with uncertainty, rather than trusting their inner knowing.

Reclaiming Personal Authority

• 🌱 The journey to trusting oneself is a gradual process of practicing self-trust, starting with small decisions and building confidence over time.
• 🔄 It involves recognizing that external validation is insufficient if one hasn't granted oneself permission to decide; seeking too much advice can muddy the waters rather than clarify.
• 🚧 Women often know what they want but believe they can't have it, leading them to claim confusion as a defense mechanism to avoid potential blame or self-criticism.

Tools for Cultivating Authority

• 🔍 The ARCA model (Awareness, Resistance, Curiosity, Authority) provides a framework for understanding one's relationship to thoughts and beliefs, guiding the process of self-coaching.
• ❓ Curiosity is essential for developing authority; by asking questions and exploring subjects without judgment, one can gain a deeper understanding and ultimately claim authority.
• 💡 Moving beyond judgment and criticality of oneself is key; recognizing negative self-talk as a system and questioning its truth can create space for new possibilities and self-belief.

Redefining Authority

• 🛠️ Authority is not about always knowing the 'right' answer, but about self-possession and the ability to consider multiple options, make decisions, and be flexible.
• 🤝 The most crucial authority to claim is over one's relationship with oneself, deciding how to think and speak to oneself, rather than adopting external narratives.
• ✨ By redefining authority as self-embodiment and the creation of one's own experience, women can shift from a patriarchal model to one of wholeness and empowerment.