Wife Accused of Gaslighting, Blames Son, and Abandons Family | r/AITAH

Initial Conflict and Escalation

• 🎯 OP's wife yelled at their 13-year-old son to "shut up" for correcting her math mistake, leading OP to state he would lose respect for her if she didn't apologize.
• 💡 The wife refused to apologize, stating the son was rude for interrupting, and subsequently gave OP and their son the silent treatment for days.
• ⚠️ OP's attempts to mediate and explain his wife's frustration to their son were met with the son's insistence that the situation was unfair.

Wife's Mental Health Crisis and Accusations

• 🧠 The wife revealed she was seeing an online therapist who claimed their son had "dangerous tendencies" and showed signs of being contemptuous towards women due to disrespecting his mother.
• 🤯 This revelation, coupled with her feeling overwhelmed by work and their youngest son's health issues, led her to lash out at OP and their son.
• 🗣️ She accused OP of not supporting her and insisted on stricter parenting, believing their son was spoiled and entitled, and even suggested his behavior was present from birth.

Separation and Wife's Departure

• ✈️ The wife took their youngest son to a hotel for a few days to decompress and attend his medical appointment, eventually quitting her job (later revealed to be a suspension).
• 💔 After a confrontation, she stayed with OP's sister, and following advice, agreed to a mental health leave from work.
• 🚨 The situation escalated when the wife announced she was taking a job in California and moving, stating she needed to pursue her passion and that it was closer to their son's clinic.

Legal and Family Fallout

• ⚖️ OP hired a lawyer to file for divorce, taking steps to protect himself and the children financially by opening new accounts and prepaying bills.
• 😔 The children are sad their mother isn't coming home, with the oldest son believing she left because the family isn't "cool enough" for her.
• 💔 OP's sister is angry with the wife for abandoning the family, and OP is devastated by the situation, though he acknowledges he is managing without her.

Final Updates and Reflections

• 👨‍⚕️ A child psychologist determined OP's 13-year-old son is not autistic or ADD, with any anxiety symptoms stemming from external stressors.
• ✅ The wife apologized to their son, and OP adjusted his approach to their daughter's math homework, acknowledging his own critical role.
• 🚩 The wife's sister believes the wife is lying about the job offer and is planning to apply in California, highlighting the erratic nature of her behavior.
• 💔 OP is preparing for a messy divorce, prioritizing his children's well-being while grappling with his wife's abandonment and his own feelings of devastation.