Setting Impossible Goals: A Guide for Perfectionists

Understanding Perfectionism

• 💡 Perfectionism is defined not as being perfect, but as the belief that one should be perfect and is never good enough.
• 🧠 Perfectionists often live in the future, constantly envisioning a perfect future self and life.
• ⚠️ A common pitfall is absorbing the concept of an "impossible goal" and applying it to existing perfectionist fantasies, leading to continued self-criticism.

The Concept of an Impossible Goal

• 🎯 An impossible goal is a significant objective that an individual believes they cannot achieve.
• 🚀 For those who don't typically set goals, an impossible goal can be a powerful tool for developing future-oriented thinking.
• 🧩 For perfectionists, the danger lies in misusing this tool as another way to set unattainable standards and then self-sabotage.

Setting Goals Without Tying Them to Worth

• 🔑 A crucial distinction for setting an impossible goal is understanding why you want it and why you think it's impossible.
• 🚫 If the answer to either question involves proving self-worth or lovability, the goal is likely a perfectionist fantasy and doomed to cause suffering.
• ✨ The true purpose of an impossible goal is to blow your own mind with what you can accomplish and who you can become, not to gain external validation or achieve a specific outcome.

The Journey Over the Destination

• 📈 Setting an impossible goal is about the journey and the personal evolution it sparks, not the achievement of the goal itself.
• 🗺️ The process involves embracing potential failure, learning to process discomfort, and acting despite uncertainty.
• 🎭 Even if a goal seems truly impossible (e.g., becoming a professional athlete at 5'2"), the journey of striving towards it can lead to profound personal transformation and a changed identity.

Applying Impossible Goals

• 🎯 An impossible goal should inspire and seem insane, pushing you to discover who you need to become.
• 😴 It doesn't have to be grand; for someone who struggles to rest, napping every day could be an impossible goal.
• 💖 The focus should be on personal growth and the evolution of self-conception, not on achieving a specific outcome to feel worthy or happy.