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Retta on Her Mom's Ordeal in Liberia, College Life, and Dealing with Grief

Ryan SicklerSeptember 1, 20201h 19min45,263 views
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Childhood Experiences in Liberia

  • 🌍 Retta's mother traveled to Liberia multiple times, getting stuck during coups on at least two occasions.
  • 🤕 A vivid childhood memory involves Retta hitting her head on a window in school, resulting in a significant injury that her mother later discovered.
  • ⚠️ Other childhood incidents included her brother accidentally drinking kerosene and a cousin suffering a lip injury, highlighting a challenging environment.
  • 🍭 Despite the difficulties, Retta recalls fond memories of enjoying cold sugar cane from a street vendor.

College Life and Personal Principles

  • 🎓 Retta attended Duke University, where she made lasting friendships and enjoyed her college experience.
  • 🚫 She was a "goody two-shoes" in college, not drinking heavily until after graduation, and she describes a peculiar physical paralysis she experienced when drinking certain concoctions.
  • 🛡️ Retta exhibits a strong sense of fairness and equality, often intervening in unfair or violent situations, a trait she attributes to her upbringing.
  • 🗣️ She also discusses her strong adherence to principles, sometimes to a fault, as exemplified by a past incident at a gas station.

Navigating Loss and Grief

  • 💔 Retta shares the profound grief experienced after a close friend's two-year-old son passed away, describing it as one of her worst experiences.
  • 🫂 She was among the first friends to arrive at her grieving friend's home, witnessing the raw and shared sorrow of many women.
  • 🤣 A memorable moment involved Retta snapping at a new arrival who was critical of the group finding moments of laughter amidst their grief, emphasizing the need for emotional reprieve.
  • 🚗 She also recounts a deeply emotional experience driving a friend whose daughter died in a car accident, culminating in a primal scream to Garth Brooks' "The Dance."

Parenthood, Fear, and Coping Mechanisms

  • 😥 The profound impact of losing children led Retta to reconsider having her own, feeling she might not survive such a loss.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 She reflects on how being a parent fundamentally changes a person, exposing insecurities and demanding immense strength.
  • 🎗️ Retta's nephew was diagnosed with leukemia, a situation that evokes significant fear and anxiety for her as an aunt, highlighting the universal parental fear for a child's well-being.
  • ✈️ Experiencing her daughter nearly being hit by a car triggered intense anxiety, leading to EMDR therapy and a newfound fear of flying and heights, which she manages by observing calm flight attendants.

Reflections on Dreams and Life

  • 🎤 Retta expresses a deep miss for stand-up comedy, the art of connecting with an audience and making them laugh.
  • 💭 She questions the nature of dreams and passions in a world susceptible to unforeseen events like a global pandemic, which can abruptly end careers and aspirations.
  • 🤔 Retta advises her younger self to be patient and to let go of anxiety about when dreams will materialize, trusting the process.
  • 🌟 She encourages living life fully and pursuing passions, acknowledging that dreams can be fragile and subject to external forces.
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What’s Discussed

LiberiaCoupsChildhood TraumaDuke UniversityCollege LifeGriefLoss of a ChildParenthoodAnxietyFear of FlyingStand-up ComedyPandemic ImpactLeukemiaEMDR Therapy
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