Rebecca Newberger Goldstein on The Mattering Instinct and the Human Longing to Matter

The Mattering Instinct Defined

• 💡 The mattering instinct is defined as the fundamental human longing to matter, a core characteristic of our species.
• 🧠 This instinct is deeply rooted, stemming from our biological imperative to resist entropy, a concept observed even in physics.
• 🎯 We are creatures of matter who long to matter, a drive that influences our actions and perceptions.

The Quest to Validate Self-Centeredness

• 🧐 Humans possess a capacity for self-reflection, allowing us to step outside ourselves and interrogate our own motivations.
• ⚖️ The core of this quest is to validate our inherent self-centeredness, proving to ourselves that we are deserving of the attention we naturally pay to ourselves.
• ⚠️ This can lead to unease and self-loathing when individuals feel they are not worthy of their own self-fixation, as seen in cases of severe depression.

Four Paths to Mattering

• 🌌 Transcendent mattering involves believing the universe has a personal attitude towards oneself, often through religious or spiritual frameworks.
• 👥 Social mattering focuses on mattering to others, which can manifest positively or negatively, including the pursuit of fame.
• 🏆 Heroic striving is about realizing standards of excellence, whether intellectual, artistic, athletic, or ethical, driven by a sense of mission.
• ⚔️ Competitive mattering views significance as zero-sum, striving to matter more than others, which can lead to destructive behaviors.

The Urge to Universalize and Ethical Constraints

• 🗣️ There is an urge to universalize one's own mattering project, believing that one's way of finding meaning is objectively correct and should be adopted by all.
• 🌍 This urge to universalize can stem from a desire to ground one's life in something objective and real, rather than just personal temperament.
• ⚠️ However, not all ways of pursuing mattering are acceptable; ethical constraints are necessary to prevent destruction and misery to others.

The Crisis of Mattering in Modern Society

• 📉 Despite immense material wealth in the West, particularly the US, there is a pervasive feeling of malaise and a crisis of mattering.
• ❤️ The fundamental human needs for connectedness (love, family, friends) and purposeful work are crucial for flourishing, often overlooked by purely economic measures.
• ⚠️ A lack of perceived mattering can lead to dark actions, including extremism, polarization, and societal instability, highlighting the importance of addressing this unappeased longing.