How to Respond When Told You Have a 'Bad Attitude'

Understanding Vague Feedback

• 💡 Feedback like "change your attitude" or "your attitude sucks" is not specific behavior and cannot be easily visualized or understood by others.
• 🎯 Manager Tools emphasizes that feedback must be behavioral and specific, something that could be recorded on video and seen the same way by different people.
• ⚠️ Many managers are not trained in giving effective feedback, leading to vague statements about "attitude" rather than actionable behavioral descriptions.

Identifying Prompting Behaviors

• 🧠 When told you have a "bad attitude," first consider what actions might have prompted this feedback, assuming it wasn't made up by your manager.
• 🔍 Behaviors that can be perceived as a "bad attitude" include: not smiling, being argumentative, staring, not using "please" and "thank you," always pointing out negatives, rolling eyes, using "but" instead of "and," sighing, not helping others, interrupting, making unconstructive comments, not compromising, not volunteering information, and not putting in full effort.
• 🎭 It's crucial to remember that others judge based on observable behaviors, not your intentions or internal state.

Seeking Clarification and Information

• 💬 If you don't understand the feedback, ask for more specific information from your boss, showing a willingness to listen and change.
• 🤝 You can also ask a trusted friend or colleague who knows your boss well for their observations on what behaviors might have been perceived negatively.
• 🚫 Avoid justifying your actions when seeking clarification; instead, dispassionately review your behavior as others might see it.

Stopping Negative Behaviors

• ✅ Changing a "bad attitude" involves identifying and stopping specific negative behaviors and adopting more constructive ones.
• 🛠️ Behaviors are learned habits, and just as bad habits can be learned, good habits can be learned and adopted.
• 📈 Observing colleagues who receive positive feedback and understanding what they do differently can provide clues on how to improve your own perceived attitude.

When to Consider a New Job

• 🚀 If you've exhausted steps to understand and change your behavior, and your boss still cannot provide specific examples, it might indicate a fundamental disconnect between you and your manager.
• 💼 In such cases, it's advisable to prepare for a job search while continuing to work on improving the current relationship, acknowledging that a new role might be the best solution.