How to Financially Cut Off Adult Children Living at Home

Enabling Adult Children

• 💡 The caller, 50 years old, has enabled her two adult children (27 and 21) to live with her and be dependent.
• 🎯 She admits to shifting blame onto herself after a divorce when her youngest was four, leading her to enable their dependence.
• 🔑 A significant enabling action was building her children's credit scores to 780 by the age of 18 using credit cards, which she then gave to them.

The Caller's Financial Goals and Enabling Actions

• 🏠 The caller recently tried to purchase a home and asked to have her children's names on the loan to increase the loan amount.
• ⚠️ This request confused the host, as the caller stated she wanted to stop enabling them, yet was proposing to continue enabling them financially.
• 📉 The host pointed out that the caller's credit has become so bad that she couldn't even put her children on the loan, which should not be a shock given her past actions.

Cutting the Cord: A Path to Independence

• 🚀 The host emphasizes that both the caller and her children need to become standalone, sustainable adults.
• 🗓️ A firm move-out date is set for three months, with the expectation that the children will have jobs and be financially independent.
• 💔 The host acknowledges that this transition will likely be harder for the caller emotionally due to her reliance on her children and potential loneliness.

Addressing Enabling Behaviors and Future Steps

• 🧠 The caller needs to identify what must be true in her life to be emotionally okay when her children leave.
• 🤝 A plan must be created to help the children become self-sufficient before they are forced out.
• 🌱 The situation presents an opportunity for everyone to grow, gain dignity, and learn to handle money, potentially starting with the Baby Steps together.
• ✅ The host reassures the caller that setting boundaries and fixing past mistakes is a sign of good parenting, not bad.