Feel, Felt, Found: A Tool for Workplace Conflict Resolution

Understanding the 'Feel, Felt, Found' Tool

• 💡 The 'Feel, Felt, Found' technique is a powerful verbal tool designed to address tension, conflict, and ineffective emotions in the workplace.
• 🧠 It's particularly useful for persuading people, reaching agreement, and diffusing conflict, offering a structured approach to empathetic communication.
• 🚀 Many find this tool to be a "superpower" upon first use, as it can significantly lessen tension and improve communication.

Applications and Usage

• 🎯 This tool is recommended for use with peers, direct reports, suppliers, and customers to navigate disagreements.
• ⚠️ It is not recommended for use with your direct boss; in such cases, professional subordination is advised.
• 🤝 The core purpose is to validate another person's feelings, share a similar past experience, and then offer a new perspective or solution.

The Three Components: Feel, Felt, Found

• Feel: This part validates the other person's current emotion. Phrases like "I understand how you feel" or "I can see why you'd feel that way" are used to acknowledge their perspective without claiming to know their exact feelings.
• Felt: This component shares a similar past experience. Phrases like "I've felt like that before" or "I've been there and felt that way" create a connection and demonstrate empathy.
• Found: This is where you offer a resolution or a different perspective based on your experience. Phrases like "What I found is the best approach is..." or "What I found is when I face that..." suggest a way forward.

The Importance of Body Language

• ✨ Complementing the verbal "Feel, Felt, Found" with appropriate body language can enhance its impact.
• 🗣️ During the "Feel" stage, an open hand gesture towards the other person, with palm up, signifies acknowledgment and openness.
• 🤝 During the "Felt" stage, bringing the hand back towards yourself can symbolize connecting their experience to your own.
• ➡️ For the "Found" stage, gesturing slightly to the side, away from the direct line between you and the other person, signifies setting aside the disagreement and moving forward.

Benefits of Empathetic Communication

• ✅ Expressing empathy and sympathy during conflict is not about agreeing or giving in, but about showing the other person they are heard and understood.
• 💬 Acknowledging another person's experience can lower defensiveness and open the door to effective dialogue, turning conflict into productive outcomes.
• 📈 Leaders who practice empathy, even in difficult situations, create more productive outcomes and make conflict more manageable and less personal.