Dating Psychologist Orion Taraban on What Women Actually Find Attractive

The Nuances of Attraction

• 💡 Attractiveness is often determined by variables beyond kindness or gentleness, and women desire these traits from men they are already attracted to.
• 🎯 Complimenting shoes or buying a drink are superficial gestures that may not lead to genuine attraction if the core attraction isn't present.
• 🔑 Evolutionary principles may underlie perceived superficial preferences, with cues like facial symmetry potentially indicating health and reproductive fitness.

Relationship Dynamics and Perceptions

• 🧠 People tend to enter relationships with their perceived best option, highlighting the psychological aspect of value perception.
• ⚠️ Relying solely on psychological advice (inner work, confidence) is only a partial solution; economic factors like sexual marketplace value also play a significant role.
• 🎭 The concept of "red pill" advice, while often accurate in its observations, can be polarizing and lead to the rejection of valid points due to its controversial nature.
• 💬 Dissecting relationship dynamics is challenging due to deeply ingrained, almost sacred belief systems that can lead to zealous overreactions when examined scientifically.

Strategies for Short-Term vs. Long-Term Relationships

• ⚡ For short-term relationships, being bolder is advised, while for long-term relationships, it's better to err on the side of being more "boring" or stable.
• 🚀 The pathway to long-term relationships often begins with actions that secure short-term ones, as sex typically precedes commitment in modern culture.
• 📈 Leading with commitment (e.g., discussing marriage on a first date) can be off-putting, while signaling short-term interest and then transitioning can be more successful.
• ⚠️ Passion can flourish with restriction; relationships that have a natural endpoint (like a partner moving away) can foster authenticity and vulnerability due to lower perceived risk.

The Role of Social Proof and Market Value

• 🤝 Social proof, like a wedding ring, can attract others by signaling that a man has already been vetted and is desirable.
• ⚖️ In dating, as in business, the most powerful player (often women in their younger years, men later in life) gets more of what they want.
• 📊 Dating apps often create a skewed perception of options, with a small percentage of men receiving a disproportionate number of matches, making it difficult for average-looking men.
• 📉 Women may price themselves out of the market by anchoring to high-value perks received when young, making it difficult to accept lower offers later in life.

Understanding Attraction and Value

• 🌟 Men often desire femininity, gentleness, and vulnerability in women, while women are drawn to competence, stability, and power in men.
• 🗣️ While older women may possess more maturity and experience, physical attraction often remains a primary driver for men, regardless of a woman's other qualities.
• 📈 The "cat decides what milk is good" analogy highlights that attraction is not determined by what one thinks should be attractive, but by what is actually desired.
• 🔄 Modern trends of men becoming more feminine and women more masculine may stem from a misinterpretation of what the opposite sex desires.