Brooke Castillo on Claiming Authority and Owning Your Power

Defining Authority

• 💡 Authority is defined as the belief that you are the decision-maker in your own life, grounded in self-trust.
• 🎯 It's about claiming the power you have to make decisions, rather than abdicating responsibility or waiting for external guidance.
• 🔑 The absence of thinking someone else has to tell you what to do is a key indicator of having authority.

Socialization and Historical Context

• ⏳ Historically, women in Western societies lacked authority over major life decisions, leading to socialization that justified this system (e.g., women being seen as weak or irrational).
• ⚖️ While legal and technological advancements have granted more autonomy, the socialization that discourages women from claiming authority persists.
• 💰 An example is the disbelief and disapproval women often receive when they claim ambitious financial goals, like making $100 million.

Overcoming Fear and External Validation

• 🚫 The fear of claiming authority is often tied to people-pleasing and the fear of upsetting others.
• 🗣️ Terms like "Big Dick Energy" highlight how power and energy are often associated with gender, reflecting societal conditioning.
• 🎭 Women are socialized to believe being "too much" is a problem, leading to a fear of stepping into their full power.

Exercising Authority in Practice

• 🤝 Community and coaching can be valuable for learning and growth, but it's crucial not to give away your own authority to these external sources.
• 💡 True authority lies in claiming your own power and not seeking external permission or validation for your decisions.
• 🍽️ A practical example is deciding what to eat; many women struggle to make this simple decision, preferring to abdicate responsibility.

The Ultimate Authority: Your Mind

• 🧠 The ultimate claiming of authority is over your own mind – choosing how you think and feel, regardless of external circumstances.
• ⚠️ The belief that external factors cause our feelings is a primary driver of victimhood and a lack of authority.
• ✅ Claiming authority means making decisions and simultaneously committing to having your own back, preventing self-beatings, and managing your thoughts.