Ask a Sex Therapist: Penis Pumps, Pegging, Postpartum Sex & More

Understanding Desire Types

• 🧠 Spontaneous and responsive desire are the two main types of sex drive, distinguished by whether desire is felt first in the brain or body.
• 💡 While spontaneous desire is often idealized, responsive desire is common, especially for women (around 75%), and neither type is inherently better.
• ⚠️ You cannot strictly 'teach' yourself to switch desire types, but responsive desire can be worked with to feel more spontaneous.

Pegging and Anal Play

• 🍆 Pegging involves a man receiving anal sex from a partner using a strap-on, often exploring gender roles and power dynamics.
• 🚀 It's typically discussed within straight couples seeking a taboo or kinky experience, involving a strap-on dildo for hands-free penetration.
• 🍑 Anal play, including pegging, can be pleasurable due to nerve endings and the potential for prostate stimulation in men, leading to different orgasms.

Vasectomy and Masculinity

• 👨‍⚕️ A vasectomy does not make a man less of a man; it is a safe procedure that cuts and cauterizes the tubes carrying sperm, with minimal impact on hormones or physical sensation.
• 🚫 Men may worry about reduced virility or confusion about ejaculation, but semen volume is only 2-5% sperm, and women generally do not care about ejaculate volume.
• ✅ Getting a vasectomy can be seen as taking responsibility for birth control, relieving a partner who may have endured hormonal birth control or IUDs.

Sex After Childbirth and Intimacy

• 🤰 The vagina is designed to stretch and return to its normal state after childbirth, and pelvic floor physical therapy can help if there are specific issues.
• 🗣️ Concerns about vaginal looseness are often rooted in societal conditioning rather than reality, and men's claims of satisfaction after childbirth should generally be believed.
• 💋 Kissing during sex can enhance intimacy, but it's not essential for everyone, and focusing on intercourse is common due to potential difficulty in multitasking or sensory issues.

Penis Pumps and Other Sex Questions

• ⚠️ Penis pumps are primarily used for erectile dysfunction and carry risks like bruising or broken blood vessels if overused; consulting a doctor is advised.
• 🤔 The idea that other activities can be 'better than sex' often stems from a lack of pleasurable sexual experiences, rather than a true preference for non-sexual activities.
• 💃 Participation during intercourse from the partner on the bottom can involve hip movements, touch, eye contact, kissing, and verbal feedback to enhance mutual enjoyment.