Childhood Trauma and Catholic Guilt

• 💡 Libbie Higgins shares her experiences growing up in a Catholic household, attributing much of her lifelong shame and guilt to religious upbringing.
• 🎯 She recounts being sexually abused by her older brother starting around age 8 or 9, a trauma that significantly impacted her life.
• 🧠 Higgins notes that even as a young child, she experienced intense emotions and was often shamed for having "big feelings."

Navigating Abuse and Its Aftermath

• ⚠️ The abuse, which involved touching and unwanted sexual acts, was particularly confusing because her body sometimes reacted pleasurably, leading to years of internal conflict.
• 🏥 She eventually sought help in her 20s due to severe anxiety and panic attacks, leading to hospitalization and the eventual disclosure of the abuse to her parents.
• 🗣️ While her parents believed her, Higgins expresses lingering guilt over blaming her mother for not protecting her, a sentiment she later reconciled with her mother before her passing.

Mental Health Challenges

• 🧠 Higgins discusses her diagnosis of OCD with intrusive thoughts, describing how these thoughts can escalate into extreme anxiety and fear, sometimes leading to a desire for hospitalization for safety.
• 💊 She is currently medicated with Zoloft, which she believes has helped manage her anxiety and OCD symptoms.
• 💬 Therapy is an ongoing process, though challenging, as it requires revisiting painful memories and starting anew with each new therapist.

Personal Growth and Comedy

• ✨ After years of struggling with sexual intimacy and feeling "gross" in her body, Higgins began to enjoy sex in her late 20s/early 30s, attributing this to meeting partners who made her feel safe and time spent in therapy.
• 🎤 She transitioned from a 22-year career as a special education teacher to stand-up comedy, where she uses humor to process her experiences and connect with audiences.
• 🌟 Looking back, she would advise her 16-year-old self to relax, enjoy the moment, and know that her body is not gross and will eventually be celebrated.