Childhood in Polygamy

• 👨‍👧‍👦 Ashley Sandmire recounts growing up in a "broken version of polygamy" within the AUB religion, where her father had six wives and 46 children.
• 🏠 The early living situation involved basic trailers with no heat or AC, highlighting financial struggles.
• 🚫 While not the FLDS (Warren Jeffs), the AUB religion emphasized plural marriage as essential for eternal heaven, with women often devalued.

Navigating Abuse and Control

• ⚠️ Ashley experienced inappropriate behavior from men allowed in their home, with a taught sense of powerlessness for women.
• 💔 Her mother was married at 17 to a man 24 years her senior, a situation Ashley now recognizes as grooming and a lack of choice.
• 🗣️ The pressure to conform extended to arranged relationships, with fathers dictating dating prospects for their daughters.

The Path to Leaving

• 🤱 Becoming a mother was the catalyst for Ashley and her husband to leave the religion, wanting a better, loved, and protected life for their daughter.
• 🏫 Attending public school provided exposure to different lifestyles, though it initially led to bullying.
• 🤝 Ashley and her husband, who met within the religion, found solace in each other after both losing brothers tragically, and eventually decided to leave together.

Healing and Motherhood

• 💬 Ashley is committed to being honest with her children about her past, adapting the level of detail to their age.
• 👼 A profound experience involved her then-3-year-old daughter recalling playing with Ashley's deceased brother, offering a sense of spiritual connection.
• 💔 The loss of her brother to suicide deeply impacted Ashley, leading to feelings of guilt and a struggle with religious OCD, fearing divine punishment for leaving the faith.

Reclaiming Identity and Finding Grace

• 🕊️ Ashley emphasizes the importance of authenticity and mental health, believing they are deeply connected.
• 🚶‍♀️ She advocates for leaving toxic situations, whether a religion or a relationship, stating it's worth the initial discomfort for a life of choice.
• ✨ Despite past trauma, Ashley maintains grace and compassion, choosing not to live a bitter life and focusing on growth and self-awareness.
• 💖 She is most proud of being the mother she always wished she had, prioritizing her children's emotional well-being and repair over perfection.